Seeing You Hurts

Haddie Bo Bo,   It almost seems like a sin to say but today I saw a video of you and at first I looked away.  Then realizing what I did I forced my self to look at your face and stare into your eyes.  It hurt to see you so alive, moving, and babbling. 

What is this thing called “peace”?

Dear Haddie Bo Bo: What is this thing called "peace"? Does it really exist? How do you find it? I see people who have also been chosen to live this journey of losing and child and they seem to be at peace.  Maybe I am wrong and they aren't at peace.  Is it a choice? 

You Completed this story

  Haddie Bo Bo, You were small.  You were just a baby.  You hadn't spoken your first words yet or taken your first steps.  You hadn't lived long enough for people to know who Hadley Sue Bromley was all about.  In fact the only people who really knew you were just a handful of us. 

I’m sorry that I am not sorry

Haddie Bo Bo, It is so true that grief will catch you by surprise.  One minute you are laughing, interacting, and having a great time.   Then within minutes I am flooded with memories of you, my body becomes hot, and tears well up in my eyes.  In that moment surrounded by friends, strangers, and Daddy

I want to go home

  Dear Haddie Bo Bo,   Today I am ready to go home. Not to my house. I’m ready to go home to heaven to be with you. I am tired. I am so tired of carrying this burden around. Today it is really weighing me down. My chest feels heavy and my mind is

New Losses

Haddie Bo Bo I am sitting on the couch in the basement of our new house. We did it, we moved. Moving day came so fast. I didn't really have time to think about what it all meant. It was probably for the best. Your room was the last room that I packed. The day

Don’t EVER think you have a lifetime

Haddie Bo Bo, It's that time of year again. The time of year where I relive everything that happened up until you passed away. Then when June 2nd comes around, the day that you passed, I start to relive that and everything after that too. It was Mother's day a few weeks ago. 2 years

Your Last Day

Dear Haddie Bo Bo, A lot has been going on. Today Fitz is 2 days shy of being 10 months. This is how old you were on the day you died. I have dreaded this day since the moment I found out I was pregnant with him. I knew it would come, he would turn

Unexpected Moments

Dear Haddie, Last night I was putting your sister to bed.  She asked for chocolate milk.  When I say asked it was more of a whine, cry, and on the verge of loosing it over chocolate milk.  So I did what any parent on the top of their parenting game does...I gave in.  I headed

The Other Life

Haddie Bo Bo, Today my mind keeps going there. I feel the lump in my throat rising and I try to swallow it. I feel the tears forming...they are seconds away. I am irritable.  I snap easily. I have the "mean" face, as Eloise calls it. I know if I just let it go I

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